never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
