Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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