There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
