i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
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