I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
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