I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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