College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
4 words: hood of his car
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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