Me too!
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
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