fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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