he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
