Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
