But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Your penis caused this!
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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