You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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