did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
