I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Randomize
