This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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