i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
