Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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