worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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