Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Girls should come with a carfax report
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
