my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
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