and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
