i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
found the other keg... it's in the tree
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
