the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
