my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
