and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
tonight lets celebrate not being married
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
