physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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