dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Randomize
