Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I puked a lego.

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(517): View more from Michigan

Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...

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(763): View more from Minnesota

dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve

(608): View more from Wisconsin

clearly you are not from wisconsin

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(562): View more from California

Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas

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(252): View more from North Carolina

it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning

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(757): View more from Virginia

If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways

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