Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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