i don't like sucking hair
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
