Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
