Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I'm too high and old for this...
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
