she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
