found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
