i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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