we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
