Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
