i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
