it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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