i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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