She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
