That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
