It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
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