vagina is talking i cant
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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