You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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