Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
where am i from again
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
The uberlube is also flammable
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
