were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize