Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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