I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
