Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
