He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
