nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize