the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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