good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
