And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Randomize