she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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