Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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