Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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