Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Randomize
