This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
