Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
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